"Get Your Man Back Now": The Horror And Humor Of GMail Breakup Ads

By Anna North | May 12, 2009 | 4:00pm

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Anyone who’s gone through a breakup in the age of email will likely recognize some of the horrible GMail ads that prey on emailers at their most vulnerable. A hall of shame, after the jump.

After a breakup, it’s natural to want to email your friends so they can commiserate with you. And according to Google, it’s also natural to bombard your fragile soul with opportunistic ads. Like this one:

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Get Your Man Back Now – [link redacted] – Avoid Breakup & Learn to Bring Him Close. Get Over Breakup!

Somehow, looking at a website that promises to Get Your Man Back doesn’t seem like the best way to Get Over a Breakup.

Or how about this:

Relationship Tips-Advice
5 Relationship Mistake That Destroy Even Remarkble Relationships-Survey

Because rather than getting advice from my friends, who I’m actually emailing, I’d like some tips from someone who can’t spell “remarkable.”

Perhaps the most heart-wrenching, for the recently broken-up, is this self-esteem torpedo:

Are You Boring?
You Probably Are! Take Our Quiz

But GMail ads, like breakups, can also remind you of the randomness and unpredictability of life. Like this one, found by typing ‘breakup’ into an email window:

Table Saw Accident?
Have you been hurt in a table saw accident? We can help.

While the others represent the worst side of advertising, exploiting the insecurities of people who are most likely feeling lonely, unloved, and upset, this last one might sort of help breakup victims count their blessings: you might not have a boyfriend anymore, but at least you still have hands.